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Thicken Regular Victor Stillwater’s Skin Through Mean-Spirited Trolling

February 5, 2010

Negative Victor here. Apparently, the combined emo of an entire lifetime sucked out the energy from regular Victor’s body, summoning me into this world filled with what appears to be ponies and kittens. In my world, kittens and ponies are anthropomorphic beasts that seek to eat the other in an attempt at cultural and gastronomic dominance. In other words, my world is hardcore.

Unfortunately, if I keep getting summoned here, I won’t be able to eat said ponies and kittens as part of the third, ultimate faction of humans who don’t care which other faction dies, so long as they’re delicious.  So I need you to thicken the emo bastard’s skin as an experiment.

I’d like the readers of this blog to unleash their viciousness upon Regular Victor and troll this entry repeatedly, filling it with hurtful words, personal insults, and attacks on his mother’s dignity as a human being. If you’ve ever had a gripe or felt hatred towards someone, unleash it upon Victor, because he probably knows the person via the six degrees of Eggs and Bacon (who the fuck is Kevin Bacon?!). Imagine that he hates your favorite video games,  eats your food, and sucks your soul in your sleep (because he probably does). In general, if you hate Negative Victor (THAT’S ME MOFOS) then hate him, because of the awakening of infinite possibilities that he has to be a dickwad.

If he thickens his skin and doesn’t summon me again, then I win. If he kills himself and never summons me through a torrent of emo again, then I still win.

Just do me a favor, and keep him the fuck away from me.

-Negative Victor Stillwater

6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 5, 2010 20:39

    Regular Victor = win! Negative Victor = troll!

    I don’t do insults and I’m waaaaay too undercaffeinated to think up any witty ones. I shall thus fall back on the old standby:

    Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!

    So what happened, anyway? Concerned readers demand to know!

  2. February 6, 2010 03:17

    Er, uh… I find you to have the general disposition of a cantankerous old codger with a commensurate level of gaming ability to boot?

    Sorry, I’m no good at trolling…

    That hamster and elderberry thing that the other guy said… yeah.

    That’s gotta smart…

  3. February 6, 2010 06:19

    You empty headed animal food trough wiper, I fart in your general direction!

    • February 8, 2010 18:42

      ‘You empty headed animal food trough wiper, I fart in your general direction!’
      Haha this was epic 🙂

      • February 9, 2010 21:55

        That was Monty Python 😉 Jaye’s just following my lead. (/pwn!)

      • xXJayeDuBXx permalink
        February 10, 2010 08:10

        Lol, I thought I saw a theme developing!

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